Assumptions Lead to Judgments, Hurts, and Offenses

 

You know the popular saying about what happens when you assume, right? Need I elaborate?

Well, putting that saying aside, here are my thoughts about making assumptions.

First of all, let me say that I learn many life lessons by observing things I see in nature. Some people may find this a bit quirky; perhaps it is. However, I see it as a precious gift from the Creator, who is the mastermind of all created things.

One hot summer day, I was mowing our grass and I observed odd behaviors by a bunch of barn swallows. I was mowing with what I consider to be a big tractor, and I was on a long, flat stretch of grass. I witnessed many barn swallows diving down at the tractor. This happened over, and over, and over again. My first reaction was one of confusion. What am I doing that is upsetting to these birds? What am I disrupting in their environment? Are they protesting in anger because I'm cutting the grass? Should I protect myself?

The more I observed them, the more I realized what was happening. As I mowed, I was kicking up flying insects, and the barn swallows were going after a tasty snack. So, my perception was completely wrong. They weren’t dive bombing the tractor at all. None of us were doing anything wrong. We were all just doing what we needed to do.

So often in life, we make assumptions and misinterpret people's actions and intentions. We read into things that aren’t there. We judge someone for their confidence and call it arrogance. We are offended because someone didn’t greet us, when the person never even saw us.  We make gross generalizations about a people group based on one person’s behavior. We overthink a conversation and make assumptions about what the person was thinking or trying to say.

Assumptions are usually negative. Did you ever think about that? Assumptions are made with incomplete information, misreading a situation, and having a bent towards negativity.

Here is my challenge to all of us, myself included. Let’s practice wisely addressing things that need to be addressed, clear up miscommunication, perceptions, and intentions. Let’s use our God-given intuition to sensibly clarify and bring resolution so we can avoid being entrapped by the snares of assumption... judgment, hurts, and offense. Let’s give a person the benefit of the doubt if we don’t know firsthand about an allegation. Or if someone says or does something that is slightly hurtful, let’s take a step back and look at the whole picture. Perhaps we can offer grace and not receive the words/mannerisms as off-putting, personal rejection.

And you know what? Maybe we aren’t perceiving the situation clearly because we have neglected to clean the lenses we are looking through of past contaminants, such as rejection, shame, and abandonment.

As you examine a current difficult situation in your life, perhaps those “barn swallows” aren’t attacking you at all; maybe they are just doing what they need to do. Maybe it’s time to test your assumptions. 

1 Corinthians 4:5 "Therefore do not judge anything before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." NIV

Proverbs 18:2 "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." ESV